​Anger is a natural, though sometimes unwanted or irrational, emotion that everybody experiences from time to time.  But sometimes we let this “anger” take over our lives. 
 
While anger is in place primarily as a way of surviving and protecting us, too much of it can lead to detrimental emotional and physical changes. It can cause havoc in our own daily lives and for those we are closest to.
 
Constant anger can lead to depression, eating disorders, alcoholism and self-injury along with high blood pressure, increased heart rate, and increased adrenaline.  Intense and constant anger can negatively affect your business relationships and especially your relationships with those you love the most.  It can make a person rude, unapproachable and just plain hard to live with.
 
Anger is a secondary emotion, which is caused by and hides a deeper emotion. If your friend is untruthful to others about something you have done, you may get angry when what you are really feeling is hurt or betrayed.  Anger is often caused by deep sadness and, most often of all; it’s caused by fear.  Next time you are angry, slow down and really think about what you are “feeling”.  Could you actually be feeling hurt, disappointed or are you fearful of something?
 
Any management of anger will require you to look at the deeper reasons for it.  Sometimes, these may be half-forgotten, avoided, denied or buried.  Often anger can be a need for control - of others, events or yourself. It is also often an existential issue caused by lack of meaning, loss, isolation or lack of freedom. If you address the deeper issues in counseling, you’ll begin to see certain triggers that present themselves which bring about your anger. Once these triggers are identified you can start to lower the amount of anger.
 
Resentment is a very corrosive, hidden and unpleasant form of anger.  It’s a mixture of jealousy, frustration, bitterness and harbored injustice.  It is a real joy killer. You simply cannot be happy if you have deep-seated resentments about someone close to you. It’s better to talk it over and see if you can reach a compromise.  Ask yourself if the resentment you feel towards the other is about what you lack rather than what they have and address that honestly and positively in your own life – asking them to help with it as much as they can.
 
If anger is taking over you and negatively affecting your daily life with those you love, or those you work with, please seek out a therapist so you can begin the process of healing.



I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who can provide services with anyone who resides   in the State of California. I have also been trained in Clinical Hypnotherapy which is beneficial for more specific goals.
Liz Birch, LMFT, CHt ~ 714-584-6047 ~ LizBirchMFT@gmail.com

Alexithymia is a clinical term for the inability to understand the intricacies of feelings and emotions. The existence and study of alexithymic experiences started in the 1970's. Some research suggests that alexithymia is more predominant in men than in women and is prevalent in approximately 10% of the general population. Alexithymia is also understood to have two components; a cognitive component where people might face challenges with thinking and emotions while trying to name, understand and talk about feelings, as well as an affective component where people might struggle with the experience of sharing, responding to and sensing emotions.
 
People who experience the effects of alexithymia might have these symptoms:
 
1. Difficulty identifying feelings
2. Difficulty distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations
3. A lack of impulse control
4. Violent or disruptive outbursts
5. Difficulty describing feelings to other people
6. Heightened sensitivity to sights, sounds, or physical touch
7.Limited imagination and, therefore, little or no fantasies and limited dreams
8. An unawareness of what is happening in their own mind and a very concrete way of thinking.
 
Alexithymia is known to be co-morbid with a number of psychiatric conditions. Therefore, when signs of Alexithymia are seen one might also look at depression, post traumatic stress disorder, brain injuries, substance abuse, and eating disorders, as it’s these diagnoses that one might harbor alexithymia.
 
But where does it come from?  How does one end up with this personality construct of marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment and interpersonal relating?  Some research has indicated that events happening in a person’s early childhood such as neglect or abuse but there are also cases of witnessing a horrifying event is known to trigger alexithymia.
 
If you, or someone you know, is displaying symptoms such as those described above please seek out the support of a licensed therapist.  Therapy will often concentrate on building a foundation of naming emotions and appreciating a range of feelings. The process will likely include both consideration of the experiences of other people and self-reflection. For people who have no problem with emotional comprehension this might sound very basic, however, for a person with alexithymia the process of growing their emotional intelligence and capacity may be difficult.
 
 
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I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who can provide services with anyone who resides   in the State of California. I have also been trained in Clinical Hypnotherapy which is beneficial for more specific goals.
Liz Birch, LMFT, CHt ~ 714-584-6047 ~ LizBirchMFT@gmail.com

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Weiss, Thomas C. , Alexithymia: Information, Symptoms & Treatment Options, August 2012, Disabled World/heath/neurology/alexithymia

1. Try Progressive Relaxation All the way from fingers to toes - tense and then release each muscle group in the body (lower arm, upper arm, chest, back and abdominals, etc.). Once the body is relaxed, the mind will be soon to follow! 

2. Breathe Deep Taking a deep breath has been shown to lower cortisol levels, which can help reduce stress and anxiety.   Studies suggest deep breathing can also cause a temporary drop in blood pressure. 

3. Spark Some Scents Studies suggest aromatherapy can be a good way to relieve stress. Give Lavender a try!  Scientific evidence suggests that aromatherapy with lavender may slow the activity of the nervous system, improve sleep quality, promote relaxation, and lift mood in people suffering from sleep disorders. 


4. Laugh It Off Laughter can reduce the physical effects of stress (like fatigue) on the body. Look for a laughter workshop in your area.  They are out there! 

5. Drink Tea One study found that drinking black tea leads to lower post-stress cortisol levels and greater feelings of relaxation.

6. Exercise That post-exercise endorphin rush is one way to sharply cut stress. Endorphins are often classified to be the happy hormones. Any form of physical activity leads to the release of these feel good neurotransmitters. The increase in endorphins in your body leads to a feeling of euphoria, modulation of appetite, the release of different sex hormones and an enhancement of immune response. This helps combat the negative effects of stress.

7. Listen To Music Research points to multiple ways in which music can help relieve stress, from triggering biochemical stress reducers to assisting in treating stress associated with medical procedures. 

According to a group of fancy Oxford University scientists, listening to the third movement of Beethoven's No. 9 might actually lower your blood pressure and help fight heart disease. In real life.  Isn’t this surprising??

"Professor Sleight explained some composers, including Verdi, seemed to have managed to mirror the natural rise and fall of blood pressure in the human body. Verdi may well have been a physiologist,' he said, 'he hit on this ten-second rhythm in blood pressure and you can see it in his music.'" — Elizabeth Davis, Classic FM