8 Tips To Help Overcome Negative Thinking

Negative thinking - we all experience it.  But why can some people get past it quickly while others seem to hang on to it?
 
Much research has been done which seems to conclude that our negative thoughts and failures stick in our brains a lot longer than positive thoughts or successes. 
 
As example: if one group of individuals are told a business has a 30% failure rate they stick on the failure and fail to realize it must also have a 70% success rate. Another group is told a business has a 70% success rate and they immediately like the business and don’t focus on the reality that it also has a 30% failure rate.   But if that same group who once liked the business with the 70% success rate where then told that it must also have a 30% failure rate, they then shift to disliking the business.
 
As long as negative information isn’t interjected we can enjoy the positive. But the minute that negative thought comes in, there we go!
 
Our losses tend to stick.  Can people easily switch back and forth from negative thinking to positive thinking? Mostly No.  Studies have shown that only when we “work on it” can we make the shift.   Without work our thoughts go to the negative.  
 
How can that be corrected?  Basically we have to retrain our brain. When given a choice we have to learn to focus on the positive.  Yes, that means begin to look at that half filled glass as half full, not half empty. Recognize when we start to go to the negative mode and made a conscious shift.  Example, we complain about a friend who runs late when plans to meet are set up. We focus our thoughts on him/her being late, which cuts into the fun time. We say to ourselves they don’t care, which makes us feel angry and the negative thoughts keep spiraling.  But what if you could look past your friend who tends to run late and realize when they are with you they are fun, they’re a good listener, they do care, they call, they ask about you, etc.   You realize that this person is really a good person and you can look past them being late.  But you have to focus on looking at the good because for most people they initially settle on the negative.
 
Take a look at yourself.  Think over various situations in your daily life. How often do your thoughts immediately shift to the negative? I would guess more than you realize. And it’s those automatic negative thoughts that are turning others off and making your day a bit more difficult than it should be.
 
Some tips to stop your negative thinking

1. Recognize when those negative thoughts are happening and make a conscious effort to shift away from them. Tell yourself you need to stop the negative thinking.
2. Be grateful. Don’t just have hidden gratitude. Focus on it, say it, and write it down. Maybe you’re grateful for your friends, family, positive people in your life, you are employed, have housing, in a good relationship, have your health, or maybe grateful that you woke up to see another day.  Research shows that gratitude leads to better physical and emotional health. Really think about the good things.
3. Help someone else. Take the focus off of you and help others in need. It has been reported that people who complete five small acts of kindness daily toward others experience a significant boost in feeling more positive. Tell someone they look nice, or you love them, help them do something, praise them they did well, etc.
4. Look at and read positive quotes. They will absolutely change your mood for the better. “Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits, Watch your habits, they become your character. – author unknown”.
5. Don’t play the victim. We all have choices to either sit in the negativity or shift to move out of it. For some that shift is extremely difficult, for other it comes easy. But for those who have difficulty with it you have to “work at it”. You have to re-train your brain to look for the positive. Yes it may be work. Yes it’s easier for some just to sit in the negative but look what that’s doing to you and to those who are close to you. We all have a way out. It just needs to be the choice you take.
6. Let yourself move forward.  You made a mistake. You acted like a jerk. Accept it, learn from it and move on. Our brain will want to sit with it because that’s what it will immediately want to stay with.  But realize that’s what’s happening and make a conscious shift to learn from your mistake (I shouldn’t have been a jerk. I’m not going to treat that person that way again.) and move on.  Focus on being kinder to others the rest of the day.
7. Mindfulness and Meditation. Be aware of the here and now.  How many times do we drive some place and don’t remember the drive. Get off the autopilot and turn off the news that’s playing on the car radio.  Look at the trees, listen to the birds, notice the blue sky, the clouds, the mountains in the horizon, etc.   Also take time for some meditation. Find a comfortable spot at home, sit in silence, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Focusing on the present, avoids your mind racing forward to things that could happen.
8. Surround yourself with positive people and learn from them. They’re good for putting things into perspective. They’re good for modeling how you want and should be.  Let others go that are negative and bring you down.  If they have to remain in your life, limit your time with them.  Are you one of those negative people?  Do you find people avoiding you? Hmmm… take a look at yourself and make a choice to implement positive changes.

 
Thank you for taking the time to read this.  I hope you found it helpful.  Please make the choice to implement some of the tips I mentioned above. Only you can make a change! Happy positive thinking!
 
Ledgerwood, Allison, Getting Stuck in the Negatives – TedTalks - 2013

Liz Birch is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who provides services in her office in Orange, CA but also has options for home-based  psychotherapy.  Her areas of expertise are in communications, relationships, marriage strengthening, stress reduction, depression, trauma, anxiety, anger, personal growth, and ptsd (civilian and military). She can be reached via LizBirchTherapist.com,  email at LizBirchMFT@gmail.com, or by calling 714-614-0612.

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