Liz Birch, LMFT Orange County, CA Therapist

Apps for Mental Health Support . . . All Free!

2/16/2015

Over the past few years I’ve become accustomed to utilizing phone apps to help my clients get through some tough times. It’s not a replacement for me, their therapist, but they do help when my clients needs some "on the spot" aid.

I thought I’d list a few that I use and ones that my clients have shared with me that they find helpful.

If any of you have other apps that aid in calming, supporting, encouraging or do some crisis management until personal help is available I’d like to hear about them.

Here are my top five that I’m able to access via my iphone.

CBT-i Coach (free) This app is sponsored by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. It focuses on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques for insomnia. There are four sections which include: My Sleep, Tools, Learn and Reminders. They include sleep logs (which is great for the therapist to see or for self evaluation). A section is available that defines CBT-i, educates on the importance of sleep, reviews the stages of sleep and discusses the connection of PTSD and sleep. Having nightmares? There’s a brief section on that topic. There's also a great Reminders section with you can input your “sleep prescription”, take an assessment, stop caffeine, and worry time. There’s a great section on “Quiet Your Mind” that includes topics of “schedule worry time”, “change your perspective”, “breathing tool”, “progressive relaxation”, “guided imagery”, “observe thoughts”, and “observe sensations”. While it’s put out by the VA it’s useful to anyone with sleep issues, anxiety and ptsd.
Operation Reach Out (free) Sponsored by The Guidance Group. Encourages people to reach out when they are having suicidal thoughts. After you click through the disclaimer there’s a Resource section which includes: “MilitaryFamily.com”, “Lifeline Gallery”, “Suicide Prevention Hotline”, “DoD/VA Suicide Outreach”, “Stop a Suicide Today”, “Centers for Disease Control”. You’ll find a “help center” which helps create a customized contact list to help the person reach out to others. Again this app is great and can be used by all not just veterans.
Healthy Lifestyles (free) This app is used more for people who are trying to monitor or stop drinking and/or smoking. Great educational sections that monitor the persons use over 60 days and they can compare their drinking to others in the norm. Has a decision making section which includes an area where the individual can list the benefits for changing their drinking and the cost of drinking. Also includes some tips to help the person change their drinking habits.
Virtual Hope Box (free) Sponsored by the National Center for Telehealth & Technology. Great app for use with those living with TBI and PTSD. It contains four main sections: “Distract Me”, “Inspire Me”, “Relax Me”, “Coping Tools”. Then each section has sub-sections. The Distractions include puzzles, word search, solitaire. Inspire Me contains positive affirmations. Relax Me contains exercises for controlled breathing, muscle relaxation, guided meditation beach, forest and country road. Coping Tools teaches the person to create their own coping cards and has an activity planner where one can invite others to participate. I shared this app with a teacher I’m working with who used the controlled breathing section to help calm her unruly students. She said it works great!.
Sleep Pillow (free) I’ve used this one myself! On those nights when someone can’t sleep this app provides wonderful relaxing sounds that can be set to a timer. The free version includes nine relaxing sounds such as rain, rain/thunder, crackling fire, ocean, nature, whales, meditation, ticking clock, baby lullaby. Therapists can also use these sounds as background if providing your own progressive relaxation with clients.

Again none of the above mentioned apps are a replacement for in-person help but many of my clients have shared that they have been extremely helpful to them.

Please list your favorite self help apps (and maybe some pros and cons) in the comment section below. It's great to learn what works, and doesn't, from others.

*photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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Getting What You Want in Your Relationship

2/7/2015

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February is the month for lovers. Months before Valentine's Day we see the Hallmark cards and posters of Valentine's love spread throughout the city. But what if your relationship doesn't feel like it's going on the right track? Does it feel a bit stale? Are you not getting what you want out of your relationship? Below I have some ideas which should help.

You want more affection. Your mind is molded by the thoughts you choose to entertain. Let your fantasies work for you rather than against. If you think often that your partner is dull and inconsiderate, your partner will be. On the other hand, if you frequently focus your mind on the good qualities, you will see more of them. Let the things your partner does that please you be the subject of your fantasies. When your partner begins to give you affection let him/her know how much you like it. Give an admiring look, a hug, or even a smile. Be positive, patient and sensitive to your partners feelings.
Some compliments would be nice. You spent the day at the salon and he didn't even notice. You feel disappointed. It could be that it doesn't even occur to him that you want a compliment. Men don't generally give unsolicited "Wow your hair looks great!" as much as women do. So what do you do? The next time he compliments you make a point to look him in the eyes and tell him how much you appreciate his compliment. He most likely didn't realize how important the compliments are.

Help with the household chores. Conversation is the key. Be calm and discuss how you both are going to divide up the chores. Make a list of everything that needs to get accomplished and you and your partner can each pick which of those each will do. For the chores that both of you hate doing you can take turns. If you assume your partner will do certain chores and they don't get done that can lead to resentment. Setting this plan will address this head on.
You want more loving in the bedroom. Most men want their partners to be happy and satisfied in the bedroom. However, men, like women, are sensitive to critiques. So the key to asking for what you want is your tone. Don't make it clinical but make it fun. When asking what you'd like be very specific and do your asking in a playful tone. Whisper in his/her ear what you want and be very specific. ;)
You wish your partner would plan more of the date nights. Feeling angry, pouty, frustrated? As I've mentioned before, communication is the key. Instead of keeping quiet about it and pouting let your partner know what you need. Take turns planning outings. When the event, that your partner has planned is over be sure to thank and compliment. Positive reinforcement works wonders. Not with just our children but others in our lives as well.
You just need some acceptance. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need. Example conversation: "I can only imagine how horrible my actions must sound to others. I"m not proud of myself but what I really need now is just someone who can listen to me and accept me even though I'm not perfect." Clarify you don't need a sermon just a good listener. Sometimes all you need is to ask.

I hope you find the above points helpful. Become aware of the way you think and behave and work on it being more productive.

In closing, draw upon your own inner resources to offer love, attention and nurturance not only toward your partner but for yourself.

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Apps for Mental Health Support . . . All Free!

Getting What You Want in Your Relationship

Liz Birch

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