I hope you find the above points helpful. Become aware of the way you think and behave and work on it being more productive. In closing, draw upon your own inner resources to offer love, attention and nurturance not only toward your partner but for yourself.
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I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions. We are officially two weeks into the new year. For those of you who made resolutions how are they going? For many of you, your resolutions have probably already slipped to the back burner. That’s okay. Don’t be so hard on yourself. What is a resolution anyway? resolution |ˌrezəˈlo͞oSHən| noun 1 a firm decision to do or not to do something: "she kept her resolution not to see Anne any more" | a New Year's resolution. • a formal expression of opinion or intention agreed on by a legislative body, committee, or other formal meeting, typically after taking a vote: the conference passed two resolutions. • the quality of being determined or resolute: "he handled the last French actions of the war with resolution". 2 the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter: the peaceful resolution of all disputes | a successful resolution to the problem. A resolution sounds so definite. It’s a hard word. But how about if you work on “goals”? Setting goals are much easier and gives one a little more leeway. Goals for me sounds like a soft word, more fluid. goal |gōl| noun 1 the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result: "going to law school has become the most important goal in his life." • the destination of a journey: "the aircraft bumped toward our goal some 400 miles to the west". • literary a point marking the end of a race. Goals seem a bit more realistic. A goal for me is more about the journey, about something I am striving for. Less pressure. I think we all need less pressure. As we begin 2015 what are some goals you’d like to accomplish? Not resolutions but something you’d “like” to accomplish. Here are some goals that may work for you;
I think all of these “goals” are very doable. No pressure. There’s a lot of fluidity in the items listed. I’m sure you can develop others that are manageable and will work for you. So, go ahead. Come up with some doable goals. In the end, when you accomplish your goal(s), you will feel really great. =) Now relax and make 2015 a good one. I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who can provide services with anyone who resides in the State of California. I have also been trained in Clinical Hypnotherapy which is beneficial for more specific goals. Liz Birch, LMFT, CHt ~ 714-584-6047 ~ LizBirchMFT@gmail.com It’s hard to believe but December 2014 is here. For most, that brings non-stop holiday stress. You want to be sure all is taken care of, presents are purchased, wrapped and placed under the tree in time for the mass opening of them all. You want to be sure you got Uncle Charley the perfect gift and picky Aunt Alice something that she won’t say she already has. You also want to be sure that everyone in the family is comfortable and happy. It’s one thing to entertain extended family and friends throughout the year on a limited basis but to have everyone together at one time on the same evening…. well … can be a real stress provoker. And what if one of your family members has a mental health issue. The holidays may bring lots of anxiety and/or heighten his/her symptoms. Keep in mind, it may not necessarily be the “holiday’s” that is the stressor but it’s probably more likely the change in his/her schedule. Having a routine is very comforting for may people and especially those trying to manage mental health issues. When the routine is upset it may send those dependent on it in a bit of a tizzy. Here’s some tips that I hope you'll find helpful when trying to help those that are having difficulties during this time of year.
Bottom line, despite all our good intentions, remember the holidays rarely turn out as planned. Celebrate this season of hope and expectation. Celebrate the many blessings in your life and in those of who you love. Most importantly don't forget ... "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" * May you all have a happy and stress free holiday! *(unfamiliar with that phrase .. please visit it on Google) I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who can provide services with anyone who resides in the State of California. I have also been trained in Clinical Hypnotherapy which is beneficial for more specific goals. Liz Birch, LMFT, CHt ~ 714-584-6047 ~ LizBirchMFT@gmail.com The teenage years are the most difficult years for almost all parents. During the adolescent years (13 - 19 yrs) our teens are now concerned with how they appear to others. Their own ego identity is in full swing as they are trying to determine who they are and who will they become. They are moving from childhood and maturing into adulthood. Now they are back in school and being confronted with peer pressure, wanting to be “cool” and also learning responsibility. Moving from childhood into adolescence is a big shift, which for a good portion of teens, isn’t a smooth transition. Adolescents "are confronted by the need to re-establish [boundaries] for themselves and to do this in the face of an often potentially hostile world."1. This is often challenging since commitments are being asked for before particular identity roles have formed. At this point, one is in a state of 'identity confusion'. As you see your teenager being rebellious, acting out, not following rules, etc. you as parents become frustrated, angry and unsure why the relationship seems so tumultuous. One reason for the conflict is that us, as parents, want to continue to be the leaders of our teenager’s life. While we should be there to guide and protect, we also need to let our teenagers forage out and begin making their own decisions. They will probably make mistakes, but that is how they will learn decision making. It’s hard for us to watch this happen but as long as you are there to help them, when they need it, you will probably have a better outcome. Roughly only 22% of high school seniors describe their family communication as positive. Therefore, one area in which parents can help teenagers through this stage is to work on better communications with them. The earlier you begin this process in adolescence the better. Below are some tips that you may find helpful.
Listed above are suggestions to get you started on better communication with your teen. I understand that you may not switch over to all of these suggestion immediately, as many of these are new to you. But if you make a concerted effort to get these incorporated in your daily routine you can count on a much better relationship with you and your teen. 1. Stevens, Richard (1983). Erik Erickson: An Introduction. New York, NY: St. Martin’s Press. pp 48-50. ISBN 978-0-312-2581-2 I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who can provide services with anyone who resides in the State of California. I have also been trained in Clinical Hypnotherapy which is beneficial for more specific goals. Liz Birch, LMFT, CHt ~ 714-584-6047 ~ LizBirchMFT@gmail.com I enjoy music. Music finds its way into my day when I'm working on reports, driving in the car, and at times at the end of my day when I want to slow things down a bit. I think everyone will find music sneaking into their lives. Maybe you have the car radio on, you might hear it via the television or you might be in the grocery store and hear it in the background. How does music affect your moods? Do you turn to music when you need to calm down or reduce anxiety? Do you put on faster music when you feel like partying or being more active? It's amazing how it controls how we feel. Music, to many, is a reward. A certain song may trigger a certain memory. That memory may remind us of someone important in our life or a special past event. Just today I was watching a documentary when I heard a song I hadn't heard in years and immediately an image of my mother popped into my head. She used to sing this to me when I was very young. I recall her trying to teach it to me. The connection was “immediate” and then a long flow of memories came back. So you're wondering what the song was? Here's a youtube of it. I think you'll enjoy it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dny_JDlwGFM At times we all get songs stuck in our head. We hear the same song over and over. We makes jokes about it happening. But it also can be very distracting in our lives. The music that gets stuck in our heads is generally just simple verses of a song. Research indicates that these loops of music play over and over when neural circuits get stuck. Sometimes if we just listen to a different song it will break that neural circuit from getting stuck. But sometimes it just creates another loop with a new song. I found this handy image on Bing images. See the “Memory of Sound”? That is the area of the brain that works with sound... and music. So when we listen to music our brains begin to change. When the music we are listening too brings us pleasure we begin to release dopamine. Actually the dopamine is released seconds before we experience the peak of pleasure. The brain actually knows what’s coming next. It can predict the pleasure. We like that! When you are feeling tense, anxious, angry, rushed and you want to slow down try listening to some relaxing music. Something slow and easy. You will notice how it affects you. Turn off the news, hard rock, etc or whatever you feel speeds you up. Sit comfortably or lay down. Listen to some relaxing music. Take the music in, enjoy the notes, control your breathing to a slower pace and when thoughts or words come in just gently push them out and before you know it you'll feel the tension leaving. For that moment in time you should feel some peace and relaxation. If you need some assistance in slowing down I do progressive relaxation for my clients. Sometimes we just need a session to wind down and relax. We deserve it. In the end, we can take on the next day with a renewed vitality. Youtube, Chris Pikal, Jan 10, 2009 The Lawrence Welk Show: Mairzy Doats CNN Health Elizabeth Landau, May 28, 2012 http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/26/health/mental-health/music-brain-science/ I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who can provide services with anyone who resides in the State of California. I have also been trained in Clinical Hypnotherapy which is beneficial for more specific goals. Liz Birch, LMFT, CHt ~ 714-584-6047 ~ LizBirchMFT@gmail.com Home-Based Psychotherapy: a Fantastic Convenience How many times have you thought about seeking out the services of a therapist but just can’t seem to fit it in the schedule, or want to keep it more private, thus avoiding going to a “therapist’s office”. Maybe you are feeling too depressed or anxious to even think about getting in the car and making the drive. You’re home with the kids and one of them needs therapy services. You dread getting all the kids in the car for the one who needs the appointment. How would you feel if you had a therapist come to you? You think…. Really? That can happen? I enjoy being a Home Based Therapist. I feel like I connect with my clients on a very different level... on equal ground. I enjoy the process that takes place outside of the clinical office. I feel privileged entering my clients home, sitting on their sofa or at the kitchen table. I listen as they describe the change(s) they are looking for. With some clients we sit for coffee at a local coffee venue, others it may be a park bench. For teens, home based therapy works very well because we can meet on their turf. For businesses, I provide staff with some relaxation techniques or assistant with relationship issues such as conflict resolution. Benefits? Nerves seem to dissipate quicker. My clients seem to open up sooner. Less cancellations thus leading to better outcomes. Convenience for my clients. Home-based therapy has been happening for many years and while it may not be heard of very often, and it may be hard to find, it is available. The fees for home-based therapists are not that much different from traditional in office therapy. It may be slightly higher to account for the cost of the drive. Feeling anxious, depressed, or overwhelmed? Seeking out a home-based therapist may be what you need. Let me know what you think and if you've ever worked with a home based therapist. Comments are welcome. I am a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who can provide services with anyone who resides in the State of California. I have also been trained in Clinical Hypnotherapy which is beneficial for more specific goals. Liz Birch, LMFT, CHt ~ 714-584-6047 ~ LizBirchMFT@gmail.com *photo found on google image search |
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